Fred's Romance with Wilma Rubble
by Bearthsong
Summary: Wilma Flintstone and Betty Rubble are reviewing old photos and slides, when they come across a slide of a mysterious woman who looks exactly like Wilma...and like Betty as well. When Wilma asks Fred for answers, he takes them both on a very strange journey to an alternate universe, with the help of the Great Gazoo and his clone, Gazoo Two.
1. Mystery Woman

4

 _ **Fred's Romance with Wilma Rubble**_

 _(A Fan-Fiction Story based upon the animated T.V. series, "The Flintstones" (1960-1966), and "The Flintstone Kids" (1986-1988), both created and produced by William Hanna and Joseph Barbera of Hanna-Barbera Productions, Inc.; and also based on the_ _D.C. Comics' Universe of "Superman", first co-created by Joe Shuster and Jerry Siegel. The story is based on and parodies the "Lois Lane" comic book story, "Superman's Romance with Lana Lane".)_

 _ **Chapter One: Mystery Woman**_

Wilma Flintstone and Betty Rubble were getting ready to sort through all of the family picture slides that each of them had been storing in boxes in the basements of their cave-houses. It was a daunting task, but they had committed themselves to completing it. Betty had brought all of her boxes over to Wilma's house, and they had arranged them in rows in the basement of the Flintstone abode. They intended to take all of the best photos and make up Memory Scrapbooks for their families.

Their progress was slow. Every time they found a new photo album, they would both stop their work to take a trip down memory lane.

"Look, Wilma," Betty chuckled adoringly, "Aren't these cute baby pictures of Barney?"

"There are some even cuter ones of Fred," Wilma replied, "But I think they're in the slide portion. Let's get some of these old slides going on the projector!"

"So much for getting anywhere on our task," Betty giggled, always happy to be distracted from whatever work chore she was performing.

The two women set up their rock-stone slide projector, and within minutes they had happily abandoned their work to watch the numerous slides of Wilma's husband Fred Flintstone and his family. There were lots of baby pictures of Fred; and there were some of him when he was a young child, posing with his parents Ed and Edna Flintstone.

Wilma chuckled at the endearing photos. _They were all so adorable_. She knew that Fred hated it when she looked at his childhood pictures, but she just couldn't refrain from doing so whenever they were anywhere in range. As they clicked the projector forwards, the slides began to show Fred as a teenager and then as a young man—when he was dating Wilma and his best pal, Barney Rubble, was dating Betty. They giggled at the photos girlishly, delighting in memories of the past romances.

They had just about reached the end of the slide-session, when all of a sudden a very strange photo appeared on the screen, depicting Fred with a mysterious woman. To Wilma's profound shock, _he was putting an engagement ring on her finger!_

Betty and Wilma stared at the photo, too horrified to say anything to each other.

"Wilma..." Betty finally managed to stammer, "That...that woman looks familiar, don't you think?"

"She looks as though she's related to me," Wilma replied shakily, "But she doesn't look like either one of my sisters, Mica or Mickey. Who could she be?"

"Come to think of it," Betty murmured, "She kind of looks as though she could be related to me also. Do you see the resemblance?"

"Yes," Wilma conceded, "I can see it, but it must be a coincidence. She couldn't be related to both of us! Do you think that my father had an affair with some other woman? Could this be an unknown sister of mine?"

Betty gasped at the idea of Wilma's respected father, Ricky Slaghoople, cheating on his wife, Pearl Slaghoople. Could such a terrible thing be possible? Ricky and Pearl, after all, had been pillars of the Bedrock community. As far as anyone knew, they had only had four children: the three girls, Wilma, Mica, and Mickey, and their brother Jerry.

"Check the bottom of the slide. Is there anything written on it?" Betty asked.

Wilma took the slide out of its pocket. There _was_ something scrawled on it, and she could barely make it out. It looked as if it said...

" _ **Wilma Rubble?!"**_ Wilma exclaimed, "Who on this Modern Stone-Aged Earth of ours is Wilma Rubble?"

A shocking thought suddenly hit both of them.

"Wilma!" Betty whispered, "You don't think that...could one of Barney's parents have had an affair with one of your parents?"

"I was wondering the same thing," Wilma replied, sitting down heavily, "It might have been my mother, Pearl, with Barney's father, Bob—or it could have been my father Ricky with Barney's mother Flo. Either way, it's pretty darn shocking."

"Either one of those pairs could have gotten together _before_ they married the other people," Betty suggested, "It doesn't necessarily have to mean it was a clandestine thing."

"But then why keep it a secret from the rest of us, if that was the case?" Wilma asked.

Betty shrugged. "Could you ask your mother about it, Wilma?"

"No, definitely not," Wilma countered, "But I'm going to ask Fred to explain the photo. I never knew that there was another woman before me!"

Upstairs, Wilma and Betty could hear the sound of Fred's car, nicknamed " _The Flintmobile",_ rolling into the driveway of their cave-house. Wilma snatched the offensive photo and stomped up the stairs to greet Fred at the door and confront him with what she and Betty had discovered.


	2. Journey to a Strange World

6

 _ **Chapter Two: Journey to a Strange World**_

Wilma met Fred at the door, tapping the slide of "Fred and the Mystery Woman" up and down on her palm in an irritated manner. Wilma's pet Sabre-Tooth Tiger-Cat, Baby Puss, had stalked over to stand behind the angry cavewoman, eyeing Fred in a similar fashion as her mistress.

Dino, the Flintstones' pet dinosaur, had as usual knocked Fred over in his eagerness to greet his master at the door; but he soon slunk away, sensing that there was something amiss between Fred and his wife Wilma. Baby Puss snarled and nipped at Dino's tail as he went.

"Wilma?" Fred asked, realizing that his wife was not happy about something, "What'd I do this time?"

Fred's best friend—and Betty's husband—Barney Rubble, walked in behind his pal. Betty gave him a worried look, and Barney immediately went over to her to hold her hand.

"Uh...should Betty and I be leaving, Fred?" Barney asked anxiously.

"Naw, Barn," Fred replied, "We're all supposed to have dinner tonight—isn't that right, Wilma honey?"

"Don't you ' _Wilma-honey'_ me, Fred Flintstone!" She fumed, "Betty and I were going over some of the old slides in our basement, and we came across this!"

Wilma slapped the slide into Fred's hand.

"Wilma would like you to explain, Fred," Betty told him, "I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation for it...but it may involve Barney's parents, and so I think that we should stay to find out."

"My parents?!" exclaimed Barney, "How could it possibly have anything to do with them? They're on a Seniors' tour of Eurock right now!"

"Barney, did one of your parents have an affair with one of Wilma's parents?" Betty asked her husband bluntly, "We came across a photo of Fred with a woman who looks like her...and like me, actually...but the name at the bottom of the slide says, ' _Wilma Rubble',_ so it can't be either of my parents who are involved—their names are Elsie McBricker and Mack O'Shale, not Rubble. Do either of you know anything about this 'Wilma Rubble' woman?"

Fred suddenly turned white as a ghost.

"D-did you say, 'Wilma Rubble'?" He croaked miserably.

Barney's mouth was gaping in shock.

"Fred," he stammered, "You don't mean to tell me you know a' _Wilma Rubble'_?"

"I...uh..." Fred murmured in an embarrassed fashion, "Let me explain, everyone...I can explain!"

"Please do, Frederick," Wilma stated in an icy tone, "This slide shows you putting an engagement ring on this woman's finger. You told me that I was the one and only!"

"I did...you were!" Fred attempted to reassure his wife, "Look, I can't really explain this in words. I just don't have the vocabulary...I'm a _bronto-crane operator_ , not an astrophysicist. I'm going to have to get The Great Gazoo to help me."

"Who is the Great Gazoo?" Wilma asked suspiciously.

"The Great Gazoo is a little green man from outer space," Barney offered, "Only me and Fred can see him...along with little kids and animals...they can see him too."

"This is getting bizarre," Wilma stated with great concern, "Are you sure you're feeling all right, Fred...Barney?"

"I'll be feeling better once we get this...misunderstanding sorted out. I don't know how that slide got into the box with all the other ones," Fred told them, "I was keeping it in an old desk drawer that nobody uses..."

"I threw that old desk out," Wilma interrupted, "I cleared everything out of it before I did, though. I must have deposited that slide into the box with the others."

Fred closed his eyes. He seemed to be concentrating intently on something. Suddenly, he opened his eyes and began speaking—seemingly, to no one.

"Gazoo! Gazoo!" Fred said. Wilma thought for a moment that he was sneezing, and she was about to say "Bless you,", but Fred continued with his monologue:

"Gazoo! Am I glad to see you! Wilma found that slide of ' _Wilma Rubble'_ , and she doesn't understand or remember what happened. Can you...kind of give us some kind of explanation for what happened?"

Fred waited for a moment, during which nobody said anything. The only one who appeared to be listening intently was Barney.

"Gazoo is telling us that in order to understand what happened, you kinda have to re-experience it," Barney translated, "Look, I know this sounds crazy, but Gazoo says that he has some "Memo-Helmets" that you girls can wear so that you can remember what happened. He says that Fred has to travel with you...it'll kind of be like mind-travel, or a dream...except for it's real. I don't know how to describe it. Gazoo's going to transport you back to some kind of alternate-universe thing that will explain what happened. Gazoo says that I have to wait back here and work the controls of the "Memo-Helmets", along with him. He's going to send his doppelganger, Gazoo Two, with you guys. He says that you and Betty will be able to see 'Gazoo Two' once you get to where you're going."

"All right, now I know that you and Fred have gone crazy, Barney," Wilma interjected impatiently, "Why don't you two tell us the truth instead of coming up with this cockamamie tale? I thought you didn't know who this 'Wilma Rubble' person was? Are you two lying to us about it?"

"No..." Barney objected, "I don't know who Wilma Rubble is, because I wasn't there! Last time, when we were all a bit younger, I remember working the controls of those Helmets—but Fred never told me what happened when you went to the alternate universe. He said that I wouldn't want to know."

"And did this Gazoo guy provide the helmets the first time?" asked Betty, seemingly going along with Barney's madness.

"No," Barney replied, "This was before we even met Gazoo. Fred and me stumbled upon them while we were digging up the backyard to put in that swimming pool that we never did build after all. Anyways, we dug this contraption out of the ground and brought it back to Fred's basement. That's when Gazoo showed up and told us that we were messing around with stolen alien property. You and Wilma came down and put on the helmets because you thought we were getting dressed up for a masquerade party. Fred was between you and Betty, when suddenly a bunch of blue lightning surrounded you all and you sort of disappeared...or at least part of you did. It was like you split into two parts—one part went on this big adventure in the alternate universe, and the other side of you two stayed here with the Helmets on, and we monitored you. Fred totally disappeared from view, I guess because he didn't have a helmet on. Gazoo told me that you were going back to the past of an alternate universe. That's when he sent Gazoo Two to the rescue, while Gazoo One and I manned the Helmet-Controls. That's all I remember of this thing...and you and Betty didn't remember a thing when you both finally got back here...Fred said that was for the best, too. He's really the only one, other than Gazoo, who knows exactly what happened."

"Barney, that is absolutely crazy," Wilma responded, slapping her forehead, "You can't expect us to believe that! It's absurd."

"They say 'Truth is stranger than Stories are'," Barney said, "or something like that."

"'Truth is stranger than fiction', Barney," Betty told him, "That's what they say...hey, Wilma! Where did that thing come from?"

Betty pointed at an odd, futuristic machine with three chairs and three helmets beside it, which had mysteriously made its way into Wilma's kitchen without her or Betty seeing it enter. The helmets were attached to three wires, each of which was plugged into the main machine.

"Is this supposed to be the machine that's going to transport us back to the past of this...alternative universe thing?" Wilma asked, walking over to the machine and sitting in a chair. She put on one of the helmets.

"Nothing's happening, Fred," she called out sarcastically, "Am I supposed to blast off to the moon?"

"Wilma, honey—be careful!" Fred cried, running over to her. He had finally halted his conversation with the non-existent alien being, Wilma noted with some relief.

"Maybe we should just go along with the boys' story for now, Wilma," Betty whispered to her, taking her place in a second chair and donning her own helmet.

"Oh..." Fred exclaimed in a panic, jumping into the third chair and putting on his own helmet, "I hope you girls are ready for a wild ride. Okay, Gazoo, we're as ready as we'll ever be."

To Wilma and Betty's dismay, a "blue lightning" effect shone all around them, and the Flintstone kitchen disappeared, along with Barney. They felt themselves being powerfully catapulted into a dark hole, and to their terror, they realized that they were being transported to a strange, distant world.


	3. The Sorceress, a Necklace, and Two Boxes

6

 _ **Chapter Three: The Sorceress, A Necklace, and Two Boxes**_

When Wilma, Betty, and Fred regained ordinary consciousness, they found themselves in a lush, tropical valley. They had no idea where they were. They seemed to have gone down a black hole and re-emerged in some other world—somewhere in the Universe.

"Or at least, an _alternate_ Universe," Wilma thought to herself, clutching her aching head. She took off her helmet and gestured to Betty and Fred to hide their helmets behind a bush.

To Wilma's complete surprise, a little green man with a great big helmet appeared to them.

"Hello, Dum-Dum," the being addressed Fred, "I won't be so rude as to address the ladies as 'Dum-Dums', but you had all better give your helmets to me. I will keep them hidden for you. If you leave them behind a stray bush, they may go missing. There are all kinds of strange aliens who visit this valley, although mostly they are from my particular species...the Zetoxians."

The being snapped his fingers as soon as all the helmets had been deposited at his feet. The helmets disappeared, to Wilma and Betty's surprise. Fred seemed surprised by nothing here. It was as if he had already been here before—which, if his story was correct, he had been. Wilma had to admit to herself that so far, Fred's story had turned out to be absolutely true.

"Allow me to introduce myself," the being said, "I am Gazoo Two. I am—Gazoo One's Clone, you might say. We are both Zetoxians from the planet Zetox."

"Gazoo Two," Betty murmured, "Barney was right! So far, everything is happening the way the boys said it would. This is surreal! It's like a dream, Wilma... except for the fact that it feels so real that it can't be just a dream."

"You're right, Mrs. Rubble," Gazoo Two addressed Betty politely, "This is an alternate reality...and it is just as real as your reality is. It is more real, in fact, since we are now here instead of there. Wherever you are now is always more real than wherever it was that you were two minutes ago."

"I think I'm confused," Betty admitted, "Why don't we get down to business, Mr. Gazoo-Two? We're here to understand this stuff about Wilma Rubble, are we not?"

"Yes, I believe that is the object of the exercise," agreed Gazoo Two, "and, just to make things less confusing, why don't you all call me _Zootwo?_ I wish to establish my own identity outside of my original clone-brother, Gazoo One."

"Okay, Zootwo," Fred concurred, "Where's that Sorceress? We'll need to find the necklace if we're to show Wilma and Betty about what happened before."

"The Sorceress will show up when she is ready," Zootwo informed them, "and not until then. This particular time-frame, by the way, is not 'what happened before'. It is what's happening right now—and you know how unpredictable the timelessness of the present moment can be."

"You mean to say," Fred replied cautiously, "that this little adventure could have a different outcome than the last one?"

"Of course it could," Zootwo told him, "we're dealing with alternate realities here. There are an infinite number of possibilities that could exist; and that in fact do exist, all at the same time. The numbers of parallel Universes that exist are so infinite that a new word has been invented to describe it: _The Multiverse_. Well, actually, it's an old word, but 'old' and 'new' are concepts which have no meaning when we are speaking about Eternity."

"Okay, now _I'm_ confused," Fred admitted, "I'm just an ordinary _bronto-crane operator,_ Zootwo, and Wilma and Betty are ordinary housewives. You can't expect us to grasp all these metaphysical concepts!"

"Why don't we stop talking and start looking for this Sorceress?" Wilma suggested, "If we're supposed to just exist in the present moment, then we have to stop battering our brains trying to understand _The Infinite_ and we need to get moving!"

"Ah, the simplicity of action-oriented cave-people!" Zootwo declared in a whimsical manner.

The three Humans and one Zetoxian set off on a search for the elusive Sorceress. They combed the luscious, pea-green valley from one side to the other, until finally they were exhausted. Zootwo finally called a halt to the proceedings, and ordered them all a meal. He snapped his fingers, and immediately an elaborately set dining table appeared before them, complete with a gourmet meal. They were all so hungry that they did not even bother to ask where the fine-dining set came from. They sat down and dug in.

When they were finished eating, it appeared as though the sun was going down. As it did so, the sky appeared both blue and green, and three mauve moons were rising into it.

"This isn't the planet Earth, is it, Zootwo?" Fred asked, "I may not be an astronomist, but I do know that we don't have three mauve moons in our skies."

"You don't have three mauve moons in your version of the Earth," Zootwo replied calmly, "but perhaps you do in this one. What if I told you that this was not only a different time and Universe, but another dimension of space entirely?"

"Another time, Universe, and dimension of space, but the same Earth?" Fred asked incredulously, "I don't know about that, Zootwo. I thought Universe and space was the same thing."

"Not entirely," Zootwo responded, "Space is finite, while the Universal Universe, or perhaps we could say the Multiversal Multiverse, is infinite. It could be said that space is a part of the Infinite, and that therefore they are the same thing...I must confess that I find your Caveman's vocabulary to be most limiting. You simply don't have the proper words to express Infinity."

"Sorry about that," Fred apologized to the diminutive green spaceman.

"Oh, will you two quit with the Multi-Universal Space-time continuum crap?" Wilma growled at them, "I think I've just found the necklace."

Wilma picked up a turquoise-blue necklace, with countless shining beads on a silver string. It had been sitting on the ground amidst a bed of exquisite golden flowers. She gasped at the beauty of it and immediately tried it on, to everyone's dismay.

"Be careful with that necklace, Wilma!" Betty warned, "It's supposed to be magic, I think."

"There's no such thing as magic," Zootwo sniffed, as a crowd of green-skinned Zetoxians flew by, ignoring all of them, "Every act of so-called magic has scientific principles behind it."

They were at that moment startled by a yellow flash of light, and suddenly a scarlet-red woman in a marmalade robe and green witch's cap appeared.

"Oh, Zootwo," she crowed, "You haven't changed a bit, you stodgy old clone, you!"

"Neither have you, old Sionna!" Zootwo cried in recognition, "You and your sorrowful acts of sorcery."

The scarlet woman named Sionna turned to face Wilma and Betty.

"Screw science, gals, let's do magic!" Sionna exclaimed cheerily, "Hi, I'm Sorceress Sionna, and I hope these boring boys haven't been lecturing you to death."

"No, Sorceress Sionna," Wilma replied, "Fred doesn't know enough about science to lecture us anyways. As for Zootwo, well...we put up with him because he's been a good guide so far."

"Glad to hear he's been a good guide...although I don't know that I'd put up with him for long. Well—let's get started," Sionna ordered them briskly, "Wilma, give the necklace over to Betty, please."

Wilma did as she was told, and Sionna snapped her fingers. Two blue boxes appeared, and she ordered the women to go and stand inside each of the boxes.

"Hold on a second!" Fred interjected, "I don't remember there being boxes the last time! Sionna, didn't you just turn them into..."

"Turn us into what, Fred?" Wilma asked.

"No interaction between Universal realities!" Sionna protested, "Fred, you're living in a different Universe at the moment. Step into this one, _right now_...the reality where we're using boxes, because that's what we're doing right now. Wilma and Betty, please step into the boxes."

Wilma and Betty looked at each other doubtfully and then shrugged. _There's no point chickening out now,_ Wilma thought. She stepped inside the blue box, and Betty did the same, stepping into the other box.

As Wilma stared at the blue walls, she felt as though something strange was beginning to happen to her. She felt as though she could read Betty's thoughts...no, it was more than that. It was as if she and Betty were living each other's lives simultaneously, right up until this moment. Wilma could see Betty taking her first steps as an infant-toddler, at the same time as she could see herself taking her own first steps at the same age. The life stages continued, up until the time that they had been married to Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble, and beyond...like two movies merging into one another, faster and faster...until finally Wilma felt as if she _was_ Betty...and Betty was Wilma...Bilma... _ **Wilma Rubble?!**_


	4. Quantum Incoherence

6

 _ **Chapter Four: Quantum Incoherence**_

(With information on "Schrodinger's Cat" (a.k.a. "Stonedinger's Sabre-Tooth Tiger-Cat") gleaned from Wikipedia: The Free Encyclopedia)

As "Wilma Rubble" stepped out of the now-merged single blue box, Fred gaped in a kind of fascinated horror.

"Wilma?" he asked with uncertainty, "You look different this time."

The woman who had just stepped out of the box had fiery red hair like Wilma—except for the fact that it was arranged like Betty's hair, in a kind of "pillbox bob" style with a point at the end. The usual swept-up "bun" hairstyle that Wilma wore was gone. There was a little blue bow at the back of her head, as Betty used to wear. The pearl necklace that Wilma normally sported was still around her neck, together with a blue-and-white cavewoman's dress. The new "Wilma-Betty" hybrid had Wilma's black "frying-pan" eyes, but the white sclera which surrounded Wilma Rubble's black pupils could be seen more clearly, as was the case with with Betty's eyes. Her lips were as red as cherries, Fred thought, and her nose as small as a button. She looked incredibly cute...but who was she, really? Wilma, or Betty? Or...both...or neither?

Zootwo coughed in order to get Fred's attention.

"Yeah, Zootwo?" Fred asked absent-mindedly, keeping his gaze on Wilma Rubble.

"I would like to point out that you have just witnessed the pairing of two Universal possibilities—actually, thousands upon thousands of Universal possibilities, for the change in Wilma/Betty's genetic structure required a great deal of prior alteration for her to stand before you in this particular merged form..."

"How is this even possible?" Fred asked, turning his gaze away to face Zootwo, "I mean, she's amazing, this woman—but I don't recognize her. The last time, it was a woman who had black hair but was wearing it kind of like Wilma, with the bun hairstyle and all that stuff. How does hairstyle enter into the genetic alteration business? How come she's wearing a blue-and-white dress?"

"Oh, those silly details," Zootwo scoffed, "Those were no doubt supplied by Sorceress Sionna, with her magical sense of aesthetics. Were they not, Sionna?"

"Of course," Sionna sniffed at the spaceman, "We can't have your clinical Zetoxian sense of non-aesthetics rule the day, now can we? Fred, you don't need to worry. It's still Wilma—and Betty—but, as you know, it won't last. You may as well engage in a bit of romance, as you did the last time."

"I...uh...I...I don't know," Fred replied in an uncertain tone, "I mean...it's Wilma, all right, but it's also Betty. And Betty is my best pal, Barney's wife!"

"No," Sionna countered, "It's really both and neither of the two women. It's a third, new woman."

"Now, you see here, you old witch!" Zootwo exclaimed, "Stop tempting Fred with this...insane mixture of Universal possibilities. Really, I should not be participating in this travesty. This is a shocking instance of disregard for Quantum Decoherence—certain Universal possibilities should have no interaction with each other, at the level of ordinarily perceived reality."

"Well, then—haven't you broken that particular law by bringing these people here?" Sionna asked Zootwo.

"This was Gazoo One's doing, not mine!" Zootwo protested, "I'm just his hapless clone."

"Aha," Sionna teased him, "So you're deflecting all responsibility for this onto your clone-brother. Very adult of you, Zooey!"

"Don't call me Zooey!" Zootwo growled menacingly, "Fred, don't listen to this hag. I know this must be very disconcerting for you. I knew we should have run when Sionna brought out the boxes! You may understand this in terms of one of your ancient modern Stone-Age scientists, a Mr. Stonedinger..."

"Yeah, I think I remember something about him in high school," Fred replied without much enthusiasm, "Didn't he have two Sabre-Tooth Tiger-Cats in a box, or something—and they were both dead and alive at the same time? I don't understand that, to tell you the truth. And this whole business better not put either Betty's or Wilma's life in danger, Zootwo, or I'll...I'll never forgive myself for bringing them here."

"Actually," lectured Zootwo, "There was only one Sabre-Tooth Tiger-Cat, and he was mainly hypothetical...it was a thought experiment. Stonedinger imagined the possibility of the Tiger-Cat inside the box being both dead and alive at the same time, held in a kind of quantum superposition, until an astute observer happened upon the scene—hopefully a brilliant scientist like me and not a sultry magician like Sionna. Then, reality would fall back down into either one of the possibilities—the Sabre-Tooth Tiger-Cat would be either dead or alive, but not both at the same time...unless, of course, reality divided itself into two separate realities with an observer in each, seeing a dead cat in one reality and a live cat in another. Parallel universes-but these realities should not interact with each other! That would be decoherent. Now, this situation with Wilma and Betty has been complicated by many different elements, but essentially we are seeing the merging of two possibilities into one—both at the same time rather than separately, as is normally the rule. A thing can be one _or_ it can be another, but it really _should not_ be both at the same time. Oh, this is a most troubling dichotomy, and I fear we may have created an impossibility! Oh, woe is me!"

"Oh, suck it up, buttercup," Sionna said scathingly to Zootwo, "Just think of it as magic, Fred. Don't let this hypothesis-obsessed nitwit confuse you all the way out of the romance of the situation! Wilma Rubble is a bit disoriented, as you can see. Start interacting with her, and she will become more real to you."

"Wilma Rubble" had been standing mutely before them, her eyes somewhat glazed over. It was as if nobody was in there.

"Wilma, honey..." Fred began uncertainly, "It's me, Fred. You remember me? I'm your husband."

Wilma wobbled back and forth for a minute before regaining her sense of balance.

"Fred?" she repeated in a somewhat mechanical fashion, "Fred...Barney?"

"No, no, Hon," Fred told her, attempting to speak in a reassuring tone, "It's just Fred. Barney is...not here at the moment."

"Fred...what happened?" Wilma Rubble asked, her voice sounding like a curious mixture of Wilma's low-toned voice and Betty's high pitched voice.

"Uh..." Fred stammered, uncertain as to what he could say, "I...well, I think you've been 'quantum-ly incoherent-ized' into being one woman...when before you were two."

"You see, Madam," Zootwo flew over to the pair, explaining as he hovered close to their faces, "There exist two possibilities. The first is that you are 'here' as one woman instead of two. The second is that you are 'there' as two women instead of one. Both possibilities exist at once, but they are being experienced by the observing entities as two separate realities which cannot intermingle at this level of awareness."

"Yeah," Fred concurred, "Zootwo says it's 'quantum incoherence'."

"Quantum decoherence," Zootwo corrected Fred.

"Well, whatever it is, it doesn't make any sense," Fred grumbled, "not to me, anyways."

"Nor to me," Wilma agreed with Fred, "but I think I'm beginning to remember some things...memories of a picnic. But I don't know if it's my memory or the other woman's memory. What is the other woman's name?"

"Betty," Fred told her gently, "Your best friend. Barney's wife."

"I remember Barney!" Wilma exclaimed, excited, "He was...wasn't he my husband? Or were you, Fred?"

"Well...uh...I think it's that incoherent quantum stuff again. Man, this is nuts!"

"I think that this couple needs a bit of normality to calm them down," Sorceress Sionna interjected, snapping her fingers.

A Stone-Age cave-house suddenly popped into existence, one with a terrace, a beautifully kept garden, and a huge swimming pool.

"There you go," Sionna told them proudly, "and I'll even put a Sabre-Tooth Tiger-Cat in the garden for you."

"As long as it's not alive and dead at the same time," Fred cautioned Sionna, "We have a Sabre-Tooth Tiger-Cat back in our Home Universe named Baby Puss; Wilma would kill me if that cat died because of all this."

"Don't worry," Sionna reassured the caveman, "This is a whole new cat for a whole new Universe."

A big brown Tiger-Cat appeared, healthy and purring up a storm.

Wilma clasped her hands together in approval and rushed over to the house to get a closer look at it.

"Sorceress Sionna, is this ours?" Wilma asked.

"For as long as you need it," Sionna told her, "I want you and Fred to have a holiday together. And Fred—when you finally put an engagement ring on Wilma Rubble's finger—that is the action that will signal that it is time for the romance to end. It is then that the two realities will merge, and the lady you see before you will return to being two separate women."

Fred and Wilma looked at each other in confusion. What was the point of putting an engagement ring on someone's finger if the lady in question was destined to disappear?


	5. A Romantic Interlude

4

 _ **Chapter Five: A Romantic Interlude**_

Wilma and Fred had been living in their "dream-home" for about a week. Wilma was becoming oriented to the experience of being both herself _and_ Betty Rubble at the same time. It felt strange. She had asked Fred to explain it to her several times before she finally began to accept it.

Their time together had been somewhat awkward. Every time that Fred attempted to kiss her, she would draw back, as if they were doing something that was not quite right. Recently, however, Wilma Rubble had begun to feel more integrated within herself, and had begun to accept Fred's amorous advances with more enthusiasm.

Today, she was lying out in the sun on a stone lawn chair, by the swimming pool. She was wearing her new "hot pink" bikini with which Sionna the Sorceress had generously supplied her. Fred was using his "Rock Lobster" lawn-mower to cut the grass. When he had finished, he took a pair of scissors and cut a variety of roses from the garden. He put them in a vase, filled it with water, and presented them to Wilma.

"Oh, Fred, thank you," Wilma said to him, "They're beautiful. Why don't you put them on the little table over here, where I can admire them?"

Fred did as he was told, and then brought out a wrinkled piece of paper. He cleared his throat.

"Wilma Rubble," he told her, "I have a poem which I composed for you, some time ago actually. I couldn't come up with a new one, so I wondered if you would...hear it? I've changed a couple of things so that it will sound more like you. It was written for Wilma Flintstone, but since you _are_ Wilma Flintstone—along with Betty Rubble, that is—I hope you'll listen to it and like it."

"Oh, I'm sure I will, Fred," Wilma replied, touching her red hair lightly. The blue bow was still perched at the back of her head, contrasting neatly with her hot-pink bathing suit.

Fred began to recite the poem:

" _I love thee, Wilma Rubble, with red hair like silk,_

 _Lips like cherries, skin like milk_

 _Your shell-like ears, your dainty hands_

 _And eyes so black, like frying pans (and with a l'il bit of white around 'em, like a fried egg; in the face of those eyes, I just wanna beg)_

 _And when you in my arms are in,_

 _My love how can you doubt?_

 _I quiver just like gelatin_

 _And sometimes even break out._

 _Together, we're a pear (pair)_

 _You're sweet, you're nice, you're paradise,_

 _And all kinda stuff like that there._

When he had finished reciting the poem, Fred put the wrinkled piece of paper in his pocket and stood before Wilma Rubble hopefully, waiting for a word of approval.

Although the sonnet was hardly Shakestone, Wilma knew she could not disappoint him.

"It...it's lovely, dear, thank you!" She exclaimed in what she hoped would sound like an admiring tone of voice.

"I know, I know," he admitted, "it's not Shakestone. But I wanted to recite it for you...because I think I'm falling in love with you all over again, Wilma Rubble. This time, though, it's even more so than the last time, when you had black hair that was arranged in a bun. I guess this time, it must be that fiery red hair!"

"You're not going to give me an engagement ring, are you?" Wilma asked in a worried fashion, "Because you know, the moment you do that Sionna's going to make me disappear."

"We don't know that, Wilma, Honey," Fred reassured her, "Maybe she's going to just leave us like this for the next one hundred years. If that's the case, we may as well get married, just like I'm married to Wilma Flintstone."

"Then wouldn't you be married to two wives at once, Fred?" Wilma asked, "Because I'm not Wilma Flintstone. I'm Wilma Rubble."

"Yeah, but..." Fred stammered, "Well...hey! I got an idea. If you're Wilma Flintstone—at least, partly—then we're already kinda half-married as it is. Why don't I just _not_ give you an engagement ring, and we can stay here together, you and me."

"But don't you want to get back to Wilma Flintstone? Isn't _that_ why you're romancing me? So that you can give me the engagement ring and I'll disappear back into Wilma and Betty as separate people?"

Fred appeared confused.

"I...I don't know," he replied, flustered, "I mean...yeah, I miss Wilma, but...she's right here with me in you. So is Betty, I know, but..."

"Fred, this isn't going to work," Wilma said sadly, "You don't know what you're doing. I think you want Wilma back—the real Wilma. And I know you want Betty back so that Barney can have his wife return to him."

"But..." stammered Fred, "I want you too, Wilma Rubble! I mean, I...I fell in love with you the first time, but this time...wow! This time you're even better than last time. This time..."

Wilma Rubble had endured enough of this back-and-forth-ing. She stood up and put her arms around Fred's neck, giving him a great, big kiss.

When the kiss was finished, Fred stared at her agog.

"Wa...wa...wa..." he burbled.

"Well, Fred?" She said to him bluntly, "If we're going to get into a romance, let's start romancing with a vengeance! None of this blubbering about anymore."

"Okay," Fred agreed obediently.


	6. The Engagement Ring

5

 _ **Chapter Six: The Engagement Ring**_

Fred and Wilma had been staying in the "Dream-House", as they had taken to calling it, for over a month now. Fred had resisted getting Wilma an engagement ring for fear of losing her. He was also afraid of falling so deeply in love with Wilma Rubble that he would not want to go back to the way things were before.

Fred's dilemma had caused him much disturbance in the past few days. He felt that he could neither go backwards nor forwards, and so both he and Wilma Rubble were living their lives in limbo. The "Dream-House" was not real; they both knew that, although they pretended it was truly a part of their lives. In a way, it was becoming that, whether they wanted it to or not.

They both knew, however, that the dream was destined to end. They had known that from the beginning, and it was why their relationship was so tragic...so ill-fated. For the past month or so, they had lived only with each other. They had seen and interacted only with one another. Zootwo and Sionna the Sorceress had both stayed away in order to let them settle in to their romance, but at a certain point in time they knew that one or both of them would return to tell them that it was time to "settle out" of it once more. Fred wondered what the point of it had been, and he questioned himself for having even taken Wilma and Betty on this ridiculous joyride.

One day, when they were sitting by the pool kissing and caressing each other lovingly, Sionna finally intruded upon their bliss, dragging Zootwo with her. Both Fred and Wilma looked up to see the scarlet-skinned woman striding purposefully towards them. Her marmalade robe and green witch's cap were gone. In their place, Sionna was wearing a milk-white gown and the turqoise-blue necklace on a silver string that both Wilma and Betty had worn before they stepped into the transformative boxes. Fred gaped at Sionna's long silver hair, which hung down past her knees and which contrasted sharply with her scarlet skin.

"Well, Fred?" Sionna called out impatiently, "Why have you not sent out a request for an engagement ring on your last wish-list?"

Fred trembled with anxiety. Sionna had left a slate and a piece of chalk at the door of their home, upon which Fred and Wilma were told to write anything that they desired on it. Sionna had been very adept at providing anything that they wished for, be it a television, an artistic treasure, or a silver collar for their pet Sabre-Tooth Tiger-Cat, whom they had named Sabrina.

As soon as Sionna had arrived, Sabrina began rubbing her head against the Sorceress' legs, purring loudly.

"Sabrina, go and hunt for a mouseasaurus," Sionna commanded the big cat authoritatively, and Sabrina obeyed immediately.

"Ah, it is a rare woman who has the ability to command a cat," Zootwo said admiringly.

Zootwo's attitude towards Sionna seemed to have changed for the better, Fred noted. Perhaps he had been having his own romance with her. He wondered if Zootwo might be willing to speak in favor of Fred and Wilma Rubble's romance.

"Uh...Sionna..." Fred faltered, until Wilma took up the cause for him.

"Sorceress Sionna," Wilma told the magician with confidence, "Fred and I have become very close, and we are not ready to end our romance just yet...unless you could give us a reprieve, and allow us to marry and remain in the Dream-House."

"I cannot do that," Sionna replied, "Although I wish that I could. You see, it is not up to me. The merging of Wilma and Betty is going to fall back into the two original states from which it arose. That cannot be altered. If you wish to make one last testimony to your love, you must do it now...today. Tomorrow may be too late."

"What?" Fred cried, "Sorceress Sionna...Zootwo! Why didn't you tell us about that part of it?"

"Fred, you knew very well that this was only temporary. Don't try to feign ignorance! You've been through this before."

"Yeah, but...it happened differently this time," Fred countered, "Maybe Wilma won't go back to being two women this time around! Isn't that possible?"

"No," Sionna responded, "Zooey, please explain, dear."

"Of course, love," Zootwo replied, "I'm sorry, Fred. This irreversible change that has occurred in the form of Betty and Wilma merging has to revert back to its initial state—that is, two women."

"But..." Fred countered, "If it's an irreversible change, then it can't revert back! Isn't that what 'irreversible' means?"

"Yes," Zootwo agreed, "That's the problem with creating an impossibility. It is a systemic oxymoron, of sorts: an irreversible process which has no option other than to reverse itself. And, once it does, we must be ready to transport all three of you back to your original Universe. You will not be able to remain in this one once the irreversibility begins to reverse. Two parallel states are not supposed to interact with each other."

"Listen, Zootwo!" Fred growled, becoming angry, "We've been putting up with you and your quanto-babble for long enough! Wilma and I aren't going anywhere. If this process is irreversible, as you say—and you weren't saying that before—then it's irreversible, end of story! Wilma and I are going to get married, and we're going to stay in this darn Dream-House of Sionna's whether you two like it or not!"

"Ah!" cried Sionna, "Progress! Very well—here is the engagement ring, Fred!"

Sionna snapped her fingers, and a silver engagement ring, lined with gold, materialized in front of them in a blue velvet box. Fred stared at it, not knowing what to do. Very slowly, he began to pick it up, and Wilma Rubble looked at him in horror.

There was a cry of "Sionna!" and suddenly a tall woman with dark hair emerged from the bushes.

"Fred and Wilma—don't put that engagement ring on!" The woman warned, "I was here many years ago with a woman named Lana Lang. Sionna merged us just as she merged you and Betty, Wilma! We both wanted the man known to everyone in our Universe as "Superman". Lana and I had been battling each other over Superman for years—until finally we all landed in this Universe in much the same way you did. Our problems were solved when Sionna merged us into one woman, and Superman fell in love with us. We changed back not long after Superman had given us the engagement ring, unfortunately. Now she and I have joined forces and we're back—or at least we will be when Lana Lang brings Superman over here. I've come here first, with the help of one of our Universe's many supernatural superheroes, a little-known magician named Merlina; and both Lana and Superman will be along presently. Lana Lang and I are going to merge into one woman again, with the help of Sionna's necklace! And _this time,_ when Superman falls in love with us all over again, we're _not_ going to let him put the engagement ring on our finger!"

Fred and Wilma stared at each other in shock.

"Excuse me," Wilma asked, "But who are you?"

"I," boomed the woman, "am Lois Lane—otherwise known as Superman's Official Girlfriend!"


	7. Lois Lane's Getaway

6

 _ **Chapter Seven: Lois Lane's Getaway**_

Lois Lane crossed her arms and stood defiantly before them. She was dressed in a prim pink business suit, and looked as though she were getting ready for a showdown.

"Lois Lane!" Sionna shouted angrily, "You are not supposed to interfere with people from another Universal Reality other than your own! These people come from a Universal Reality where a Modern Stone-Age exists. You need to stay in the "Superman" Parallel Universe, or there will be serious consequences—things may occur differently than they did last time. Fred can tell you all about that."

"Then why have you agreed to have us here, Sionna?" asked Lois furiously, "If you don't want us in this reality, why are you doing all these things to keep us here—like building Fred and Wilma a Dream House? I've been watching you at a distance, and I think you want people to come from other Universal Realities so that you can treat them to a forbidden fantasy. You then observe their behavior and reactions, as though they were lab rats in an experiment! Well, I don't know about you, Wilma Rubble, but I've had enough of being ' _The Experiment'_. It's time to take back what's ours!"

"But it isn't yours!" Sionna protested, "This is our reality, and it's a kind of go-between or a no-man's land where parallel realities _may_ meet for a short time. We serve the people who come here by giving them what they wish for—a different kind of life for a while. It was never intended to be a permanent experience, however."

Wilma Rubble watched Sionna and Lois argue as though she were watching a tennis match, turning her head from one side to the other. Finally, Sionna brought Zootwo aside to consult with him. Lois took full advantage of their temporary absence by grabbing Wilma by the hand and running off with her. Fred followed, still holding the engagement ring and not knowing whether he should put it on Wilma's finger or not.

"Get rid of that engagement ring, Fred, if you want to come with us," barked Lois, and Fred did as he was told.

"But Lois," Wilma said to her as they ran away from the "Dream House", "If you want to marry Superman, why don't you do it in your reality? Why come here and turn into another person for a short time just to be with Superman? I mean, I've just done that with Fred, but it wasn't really _me,_ Wilma Rubble, making the decision. I feel like I've been born out of this experience, and soon I'm going to die out of it."

"But that's where we have to outsmart Sionna, Wilma!" Lois told her in a conspiratorial fashion, "Her and Zootwo and Merlina and all the rest of the Zetoxians that are here on this world. You know that the Zetoxians are using us in a psychological experiment, don't you? Sionna and Merlina are helping them with it in exchange for sanctuary in this Universe. Apparently, Sionna and Merlina have broken some laws and the Sorceress' Guild wants to apprehend them and take away their license to perform magic."

"Great," Wilma said without enthusiasm, "So we're guinea pigs, whatever way we turn."

"No," replied Lois, "Not if we can find Lana Lang and Superman, ditch Merlina, and find a place to hide where we can all pursue our relationships."

"That sounds like it's easier said than done," Wilma said with a sigh, "I don't think it's going to work, Lois. We aren't strong enough to maintain this. Fred, honey—I need to stop and rest. I think I'm beginning to feel dizzy."

"Oh, my...stompin' stegosauruses!" Fred exclaimed, "Wilma, honey! You don't think that you're...beginning to revert back, do you?"

Wilma stared at him and tears began to roll down her cheeks.

"Yes, Fred...I...think it's happening. You go on without us, Lois! We can't come with you on your adventure."

"But we can be strong together!" Lois objected, "Try and keep going, Wilma and Fred—if you stop, it's all over."

"I can't!" Wilma cried, "This isn't fair to Wilma and Betty. I'm feeling that they want to go back to being themselves—I can't explain it, but...Fred, you have to put the engagement ring on my finger—now!"

"I...I ditched it, Wilma—a little while back. I thought maybe it was a bad thing...but now you're saying that you want it?"

"Go find it, Fred!" Wilma screamed, "I...I feel like I'm fading..."

Fred ran back the way that he had come, frantically looking for the ring. Wilma lay down, closing her eyes and trembling. Lois knelt down and held her hand.

"Hang on, Wilma," she said, "If Superman gets here, he can help Fred look for it."

"You know," Wilma Rubble murmured softly, "Back in our Stone-Age world, he's known as 'Superstone'."

"Okay," Lois replied softly, "And what would I be called back in the Stone Age?"

"I think you're called 'Lois Lanthanite', if I remember correctly from Barney's comic-slab stones. And that other woman you spoke about—I think she'd be Lana Langite, Superstone's girlfriend when he was a teenager. It's funny, I've never set foot in Fred and Barney's world, and yet I know it from Wilma and Betty's memories."

"Never mind that," Lois encouraged her, "Try to stay here, in this reality. Don't fade out, Wilma Rubble! We can beat this thing, you and I."

"I'm not sure I want to beat it anymore," Wilma whispered, exhausted, "It's too hard on Fred. He feels guilty about our romance—I know he does, even if he tries to hide it from me."

Suddenly, there was a pink flash, and three figures popped into existence. One of them was a red-haired woman wearing a scarlet dress and a black sash. The other was a blonde-haired, lavender-skinned woman wearing a blue robe with gold stars on it. The third person was a tall, muscular, dark-haired man, wearing a blue suit with a red cape and boots. He wore a yellow diamond-like crest on the front of his shirt which sported a big red "S" in the middle of it. Over top of his snugly fitting blue tights, he wore a pair of red underwear with a gold belt holding it up. Wilma knew who it was without having to be told.

"Superman!" She managed to gurgle, in spite of her ever-weakening condition.

"Superman!" Lois echoed Wilma, "Are we glad to see you!"

"How can I help, Lois?" Superman asked with great concern, "Does this woman need a doctor?"

"No, Superman," Lois replied, "This woman needs an engagement ring! Go and find a fat caveman by the name of Fred Flintstone. He's wearing an orange caveman's tunic with blue polka-dots on it and a blue tie. He needs to find the engagement ring that he dropped—now, before Wilma fades out."

"Sure, Lois," Superman concurred. He jumped into the air in a spritely manner, calling out, "Up, up, and awaaaay!" as he went.

Wilma could not believe this was happening. She could feel herself slipping away faster and faster. She could hear Lois Lane and Lana Lang conferring about their plans to merge, and then to marry Superman. Wilma felt that she needed to warn them not to do this. _No one should do this_ , she thought, _it's too painful when it comes time to say good-bye._

"Lois! Lana!" she called out in a raspy tone, "Don't merge...don't merge just to marry Superman. You won't have each other for very long..."

The Sorceress Merlina came to her side, clasping Wilma's hand in hers.

"It's all right, Wilma," she whispered to her, "Lois and Lana are determined to go through with it...they just don't remember all of what happened the last time...just as you and Betty won't remember."

"How do you know us all?" Wilma asked, feeling momentarily stronger, "We've never even met you, Merlina!"

"I experience everything that my sister Sionna does, on a deep telepathic level," Merlina explained, "In a strange way, we are both merged in spirit, although not in body. That is part of why we can merge other people together...if they choose it."

Wilma nodded, and collapsed again, weakened. She felt the world around her beginning to spin, faster and faster, until finally it seemed to her as if she was being sucked into a great vortex. She began to experience both Wilma's and Betty's life experiences all over again; except for this time she was experiencing them backwards, from the present moment all the way back to their infancy. Finally, she felt herself entering a dark womb of some sort...and then exiting out into the starry night. Slowly, she began to feel the darkness descending, until at last she had lost consciousness altogether.


	8. The Healing Mineral

4

 _ **Chapter Eight: The Healing Mineral**_

Fred was scratching about in the grass furiously, searching for the engagement ring, when suddenly a man who looked somewhat like Superstone landed in front of him.

"Are you Fred Flintstone?" the man asked.

Fred nodded, dumbfounded.

"I'm here to help you find the engagement ring. Lois Lane sent me."

"Well—thanks, Superstone. I could use some help."

"My name is actually Super _man_ , Fred," Superman corrected him, "Let me use my laser-sharp vision to scan the area for this ring."

Superman peered around him, like an eagle seeking prey. He stopped in mid-peer to hone in on something. Swiftly, he bounded over to an area a few meters from where they were presently searching. He held up something in his hand. Fred ran over to him, huffing and puffing all the way.

"Hmmm," Superman said, "This ring looks familiar. It looks like the one I gave Lana Lane the last time I was here."

"Maybe they've been giving us the same ring over and over," Fred suggested, "Anyways—unless you want to use that ring, Superman, I'd really like to get back to Wilma Rubble and put it on her finger. I'm worried that she's about to go back to being Wilma and Betty—not that it would be a bad thing, but..."

Superman put a reassuring hand on Fred's shoulder.

"I know how confused you feel, Fred," he told him, "Believe me, I know. I've been through it all before."

"Yeah, so have I," Fred told him ruefully, "This is my second time around. Remind me to take a rain-check the next time."

"Fred," Superman advised him, "Take a rain-check the next time."

"You too, Soop," Fred told him, feeling some comfort in the fact that there was another guy who had been through the same thing.

"Well, we better hustle on back," Fred said, taking the ring and starting off at a jog.

"Hold on, Fred," Superman called out to him, "I think I can get you there faster."

With hardly any effort at all, Superman flung Fred over his broad shoulders like a sack of potatoes. He then bounded up into the skies, calling out "Up, up, and awaaaay!" as he flew.

Fred could only look down at the ground helplessly as they flew through the air together. After a minute or so, he got over his height sickness and began to enjoy the flight. It was invigorating to be flying through the air at such a speed!

Before he knew it, however, Superman had landed neatly next to Lois Lane, Lana Lang, Merlina the Magician and... _ **Wilma and Betty?!**_

Fred stared at the two women, not sure whether to feel elated or crest-fallen. He stood with the engagement ring in his hand, fiddling with it nervously. Finally, he approached Wilma and got down on his knee. He took her hand in his.

"Wilma, with hair like silk," he began, "Lips like cherries, skin like milk. Your shell-like ears, your dainty hands, and eyes so black, like frying pans...will you marry me, all over again?"

"Sure, Fred," Wilma told him wearily as he slipped the ring on her finger, "But...I need to lie down somewhere...I'm feeling unwell."

Superman took off his cape in a gentlemanly gesture, and laid it on the ground before Wilma Flintstone. Wilma lay down gratefully. Her face was white, and she was exhausted. Fred knelt down beside her with great concern.

"Wilma, Honey," he murmured, clutching her hand, "You'll be okay in a few minutes. You just need to rest, after that nutty transformation."

Betty had also knelt down beside Wilma, holding her other hand gently.

"Fred," Betty whispered, "I think this is more serious than just needing to rest. I don't feel tired or faint. Why is this affecting only Wilma? We both went through the transformation together."

Fred glanced up at Merlina, the sister of Sionna. Merlina knelt down beside Fred and felt Wilma's pulse.

"I've just sent for Sionna and Zootwo," she told them worriedly.

Fred did not like the fact that the magician was worried. Couldn't she just snap her fingers and make Wilma well again?

Merlina, as if having read Fred's mind, shook her head. Fred felt a chill up and down his spine as he looked down at his wife. She was beginning to perspire quite heavily. He pulled Superman's cape around her as she trembled.

Before long, Sionna and Zootwo had arrived upon the scene. Superman was conversing with Lois and Lana.

"Superman!" Sionna exclaimed, "What are you doing here? I thought you said you'd never do this again."

"Lois and Lana wanted me to come," Superman explained, somewhat embarrassed, "But I don't think they remembered what happened the last time. I was reminding them, just now. When Lana first invited me, I had this peculiar feeling that I should come. I think maybe Wilma and Fred are the real reason for my arrival."

Sionna and Merlina appeared to be panicked.

"Superman," they told him, "We can't materialize the mineral that we need to save Wilma! It's one of those 'off-the-list' wishes."

"But I know where to find the mineral," Superman reassured them, "It's on a nearby mountain-top...it's a red mineral, and it has the healing properties that we need to cure Wilma from the debilitating effects of re-transformation. Fred—I know this is going to be difficult for you, but...I need to take Wilma with me. We can't afford to wait until I get back."

Fred felt the world swirling around him in chaos. Slowly, he nodded. Before Superman scooped Wilma in his arms, however, he leaned over and gave Wilma a kiss. They were all silent as they watched Superman pick Wilma up and bound into the sky.


	9. Superman to the Rescue

2

 _ **Chapter Nine: Superman to the Rescue**_

Superman flew through the sky, gingerly holding Wilma Flintstone in his arms. She was still wrapped up in the red cape that he had laid down for her back in the valley. They had now flown past the valley and were rising up to the mountain peak. The mountain air was very cold on Wilma's body, and she shivered.

"We're almost there, Wilma, hold on," Superman told her gently.

Wilma, in spite of her weakened condition, was deeply moved by Superman's kind and gentlemanly conduct towards her during this crisis. She hoped fervently that Fred was not falling apart back in the Valley, although she knew that Superman was trying his level best to get her a cure as soon as possible. Wilma felt a little of her strength returning with the nip of the cold air.

Superman landed atop one of the craggy peaks, and gently laid Wilma down in a shallow rock crevice. He spoke into a communication device on his wrist.

"Lois!" He commanded her, "We're here on top of the mountain. Can you have Merlina materialize a mineral extraction device, please?"

Lois and Merlina did as they were told, and a long metal instrument appeared. Superman walked a few paces away from where Wilma was and began a kind of a mini-drilling and stone-grinding operation. He took a pouch out of his belt and poured the ground mineral into it after he had extracted enough from the deeper layers of the mountain rock.

Finally, when he felt that he had collected enough red mineral powder, he returned to Wilma. He then took a flask from his belt and added water to the ground mineral mixture.

"Here, Wilma," Superman encouraged her, "Drink this. It will make you feel better."

Wilma drank the mixture gratefully—although it tasted so bitter that she could not help but wince. She forced herself to drink it all, nonetheless. If it was going to save her life, then she had better not be too fussy about the taste of it. While she was drinking, Superman went to another area and repeated the drill-and-grind procedure with the extraction instrument. After an hour's work, he had collected what he considered enough of the mineralogical medicine. He slung the pouch over his shoulder and went back to retrieve Wilma, who was beginning to feel much better.

"Okay, Wilma," he said to her gently, "It's time to go back and get you out of the cold mountain air so you don't catch a chill. You're going to be all right now."

Superman smiled at Wilma as he picked her up and sailed up into the mountain air currents.


	10. Time to Return

7

 _ **Chapter Ten: Time to Return**_

Fred was fretting up a storm when Superman finally flew in, holding Wilma tightly in his arms. Betty had been attempting to reassure the harried husband, but to no avail. Betty had received some insights into Fred from her time as a "merged woman" with Wilma, and one of the things that she realized was how much Fred loved Wilma—even when they were functioning as Wilma Rubble, Fred was always in love with the Wilma side of the woman.

"Wilma!" Fred cried as Superman put her down.

He ran to her side and put his arms around her. She was able to stand on her own now, to their immense relief.

"Wilma will be all right," Superman told them, "She will need probably five or six more treatments of the red mineral mixture in order to fully recover. She should take the mixture about every two to four hours. I suggest that Sionna give us all a ride over to your "Dream House" as Wilma called it."

"No sooner said than done," Sionna said, snapping her fingers. The Dream House magically appeared around them as if it had come to them rather than them going to it.

Fred picked Wilma up and put her on one of the lawn chairs, Superman's red cape still draped around her. Sabrina the Sabre-Tooth Tiger-Cat came trotting over, excited to see that her friends had returned. She lay down beside Wilma's lawn chair and began to purr happily.

"Superman," Wilma said to him, "What about Betty? Is she in any danger?"

"I'm going to go back later and retrieve more of the mineral powder," he responded, "But until then, Betty should take the powder too...two teaspoonfuls in a glass of water every few hours. I'll give you your first drink, Betty."

Superman prepared a mixture for her, and Betty drank it gratefully.

"I have been feeling a little under the weather," Betty told him, "I guess you can't be too careful."

"This was why I wanted Fred to put the engagement ring on Wilma Rubble's finger," Sionna the Sorceress explained, "That was to be the trigger event so that I could prepare the box for re-transformation. The transformation generally occurs around a trigger event, and when it is reached, the one must fall back into two again. If Wilma Rubble had transformed inside the blue box, though, we could have avoided all the unpleasant side effects. The blue box would have separated into two boxes, and we would be back in the reality of Wilma and Betty as separate individuals."

"You mean to say," Betty interjected, "That Wilma Rubble still exists, in another reality?"

"It is quite possible, although we have no way of knowing at the present. It is better to focus on the reality at hand, for that is the one that counts. Anything else is purely hypothetical—until it isn't, that is."

"Well, anyways," Fred commented, his eyes still trained lovingly on Wilma, "I've learned my lesson, Honey: no more messing around with parallel realities for me. I never would have forgiven myself if something had happened to you and Betty. No fancy merged romance is worth that much."

Lois Lane and her long-time adversary, Lana Lang, had both been silent while the crisis was unfolding.

"I guess I owe you all an apology," Lois finally said sheepishly, "If I hadn't told you to ditch the engagement ring, Fred, this might not have happened."

"And if Sionna had explained things to us a little better, this misunderstanding would not have occurred," Fred replied ruefully, "No offense, Sionna. We're not looking to blame anyone, but the next time you take people on a joyride like this, explain the dangers to them _ahead of time._ It would have been nice to know that Wilma and Betty could have died from this thing if Superman hadn't been here to get the mineral stuff. You guys should keep a stash of that mineral medicine handy, since it's off your wish-list...for that matter, maybe you should put it _on_ the wish-list."

"My sister Merlina and I are going to be establishing some further safety precautions and ground rules for merging people together," Sionna admitted, tossing a strand of her silver hair behind her shoulder, "We thought we had eliminated all the dangers, but it seems that we learn something new every time we perform this particular act of magic. This was a very close call...and I must say that we don't have many people who agree to do this kind of thing. We haven't exactly worked out all the bugs."

"Well—count us out as experimental bugs," Wilma said with a trace of irony in her voice, "We want to go home, Sionna."

"Yes," Betty concurred, touching her black hair softly and re-positioning her blue bow, "I miss Barney."

"As soon as your treatment is finished, we will retrieve the helmets and Zootwo will accompany you back to your former reality. It has only been a few minutes which has elapsed in that Universe, so it will be as though you left and returned instantaneously," Sionna explained, "But I believe there is one last thing that you should know: the cure that Superman has given you will heal you of the side-effects of the transformation, but you will not be able to remember anything about this event when you return."

"To be perfectly frank," Wilma declared, "I don't think I _want_ to remember it."

"Will I remember it?" Fred asked, a tinge of sadness in his voice.

"Yes, you will, Fred," Superman answered on behalf of Sionna, "Just like I remembered it. But here's the thing: the next time you have an opportunity to repeat this process, _don't do it!_ It's just too unpredictable, and you can't risk the lives of your loved ones for it. I've decided that I'm just going to have to do without the "Merged-Woman Romance" this time around. Sorry, Lois and Lana...but I'm not putting your lives in danger again."

"But Superman!" The red-haired woman named Lana Lang protested, "Lois and I have to become Lana Lane all over again. You have to go through with it—I mean, you came here!"

"Yes, Lana," Superman agreed, "And very soon, I'm going back. I hope that you two will come with me. But whether you do or not, I've made my decision: no more Lana Lane romances. I don't think that I'm going to be marrying anyone for some time after all of this."

"But...Superman!" Lois Lane gasped, "Are you sure you don't want the experience of both of us again? After all, if what Merlina told us was correct, you fell in love with the merged woman even more than you have with either one of us as separate individuals!"

"Yes, Lois, but it was very nearly at the cost of yours and Lana's lives! It seems that you two had not remembered that part of the equation. You nearly died, Lois, but I was able to find the healing mineral in time with the help of a group of Zetoxian scientists...and by the way, Merlina!" Superman scolded the lavender-skinned Magician, "You and Sionna need to stop bringing people into this Universe under-informed as to the consequences of their decisions. You too, Zootwo! People from other Universes should not be used as guinea pigs for Zetoxian thought experiments. You tell that to your clone as well, when you get back."

"This is my first and last expedition in the field of trans-universal travel," Zootwo informed them, "I, too, have learned a lesson in all this...and I'll inform my Clone-brother Gazoo in no uncertain terms that such travel is to be strictly off-limits to Dum-Dums in the future...no offense to you good people intended."

"None taken," Superman replied politely, "I think we've all learned something through this."

"Well, Lana," Lois relented, "So much for our big plan."

Wilma and Fred looked at each other adoringly, oblivious to Lois and Lana's disappointment.

"Man, Wilma," Fred said, "Are we lucky or what? And this time around, when we return, there shouldn't be any photo of me putting a ring on Wilma Rubble—because I didn't put a ring on her finger, I put it on yours!"

Wilma shook her head slightly.

"Fred Flintstone," she replied, "What do you mean, 'Wilma Rubble'? Who on Earth is that?"

Fred smiled gently at her, and Betty knelt down beside her on the other side of the lawn chair.

"Wilma!" Betty murmured, "Do you mean that you've forgotten?"

"An effect of the mineral," Superman said to them, "And you'll soon forget, too, Betty—once you've taken a few treatments."

"Well," Betty sighed, "Maybe it's for the best. As Wilma Rubble, I experienced this crazy love for Fred-along with Wilma, that is. I don't feel the same way now that I'm back to being plain old Betty Rubble, but even so this would be very hard on Barney."

The three of them stayed at the Dream House for a few more days, until Wilma and Betty's treatments were finished. Superman, Lois, and Lana stayed with them until they were satisfied that Wilma and Betty were in good health again.

Zootwo arranged for a Zetoxian doctor to check the ladies to ensure that it was safe for them to travel. Once the doctor had confirmed their "recovered" status, Sionna brought out six helmets—three blue and three orange.

"Fred, Wilma, and Betty—you three will wear the blue helmets," Sionna the Sorceress informed them.

"And you, Superman, Lois, and Lana, will wear the orange helmets," Merlina the Magician explained, "You'll travel as two separate groups...the Flintstone-Rubble group first. We want to make sure that we send you back to your proper Universes."

"And we just want you to know that we've heard your complaints and we want to improve things," Sionna declared, as if she were the manager of a restaurant dealing with dissatisfied customers, "From now on, all trans-universal pairs will need to sign a consent form before they merge into one person. And, we'll make sure they're fully informed as to what's involved."

"Just as long as the next group of suckers isn't us," Fred muttered.

Superman shook their hands before the two Flintstones and one Rubble left to go back to their Universe.

"It's been an honor to meet you all," the muscular hero said in a gracious fashion. Lois and Lana joined him, nodding their agreement. The two women each gave Wilma and Betty a hug, and Fred a kiss on the cheek.

"Good-bye, Lois and Lana. Good-bye, Superman," Wilma told him, standing up on her tip-toes in order to give him a kiss on the cheek, "I can't remember exactly how you helped us, but I do know that I'm incredibly grateful to you."

Superman smiled at her as he and his two girlfriends watched Wilma, Betty, and Fred disappear into the shining blue light with Zootwo.


	11. Welcome Home!

5

 _ **Chapter Eleven: Welcome Home!**_

As the flashing blue light cleared, Fred shook his head to make sure he was seeing the "real" reality. He took off his helmet, and squinted for a minute before his vision came into full focus.

There, in front of him, was Barney Rubble, Fred's pet dinosaur Dino, and Gazoo. Zootwo did not appear to be here, for some reason. He helped Wilma and Betty off with their helmets and they stood up shakily. Dino came running over to Fred, knocking him down and licking his face in excitement.

"Fred," Wilma murmured, disoriented, "What just happened? Why did we have helmets on?"

"We're back, girls!" He cheered as he arose from Dino's exuberant welcome, "Yabba Dabba Doo!"

"Back?" Betty echoed, "We never went anywhere."

"Yeah, Fred," Barney agreed with his wife, "There was some blue light, but you three never really went anywhere. You were a bit dozy for a few minutes, and Dino went crazy during that time, but other than that—nothin'. Did you have any dreams, or anything?"

"I can't remember a thing," Wilma said, "I didn't even have a dream snippet."

"I think I fell asleep," Betty added, "I feel like I might have had some kind of dream about Fred; but other than that, it's all pretty fuzzy."

"What about you, Fred?" Barney asked, "Do you remember anything about that girl in the photo...Wilma Rubble?"

Before Fred answered, he gave Barney a big bear hug.

"Barney, old pal, it's great to see you again."

"Uh...likewise, Fred. But it's only been a few minutes."

"There has been more time that has elapsed in Fred's reality than in ours," Gazoo explained, "But I suppose that kind of thinking is beyond you Dum-Dums."

"Gazoo!" Fred cried, "It's great to see you, Gazoo! But where's Zootwo?"

"Zoo-who?" Wilma queried.

"Zootwo was sent on a mission to another Universe," Gazoo explained, "He did leave you with a little good-bye present to remember him by, but he doesn't need to come here now that you're all safely back."

"Back from where?" Barney asked, "What's going on, Gazoo?"

"Who are you two talking to?" Betty asked, somewhat annoyed, "Who's...Gazoo?"

"Uh...nobody, gals. You go into the living room and relax. You've been on a long journey, and you need to rest, believe me."

Wilma and Betty looked at each other quizzically.

"You know, Wilma," Betty said, "Strangely enough, I feel like I have been somewhere...I feel like I know you and Fred a whole lot better than I did before. I feel closer to you, somehow."

"Oh, Betty, you're as bad as the boys," Wilma giggled, "You've known us all our lives."

"Yes, but...something's different," Betty murmured, "I can't quite put my finger on it."

"Let's go into the kitchen and make a nice pot of tea," Wilma suggested, "That will help everybody relax. I can't quite remember what we were doing with those odd-looking helmets..."

The two women walked to the kitchen, arm in arm.

When they had left the room, Fred whispered to Barney, "Hey, Barn. Have you got that photo that Wilma showed me when I walked in the door after work?"

Barney scrounged around in his pocket.

"Uh...I think so, Fred," he said, bringing out a crinkled old photograph.

Fred took the photo from his friend and gaped at it in surprise. The photo no longer showed Fred giving an engagement ring to Wilma Rubble One, the lady with black hair that was arranged in a bun. In her place, the photo showed Wilma Rubble Two, the lady with the red "pillbox bob" hair-do, wearing a blue bow and a blue-and-white dress. Fred was standing beside her awkwardly, staring at a ring in a box—but not putting it on her finger. In the background, a Sabre-Tooth Tiger-Cat was staring at them by the side of a swimming pool. Barney looked at the photo in amazement.

"The photo has changed, Fred!" He cried incredulously.

"And it's about to change again, Dum-Dums," Gazoo informed them, snapping his fingers.

The photo suddenly blurred and then changed. Fred did a double take. The woman in the photo was now his wife, Wilma, and he was putting a ring on her finger. Wilma looked somewhat white and delicate in the picture, and there was a tall, handsome man dressed in blue tights and red underwear behind them, laying a red cape down on the ground.

"Hey, Gazoo!" Barney exclaimed, "Why did you change the picture? And who was that other woman in the photo—the red-head who was wearing Betty's bow?"

"Uh...Barn, you don't wanna know," Fred told his friend in a mysterious fashion, "And don't even ask about the guy in blue tights. Gazoo, I'd like you to take this photo and put it somewhere safe in your spaceship, or whatever you ride around in. I want to make sure that we don't go to that...Universe...again."

"Universe?" echoed Barney, "Not that alternate-Universe stuff all over again! Fred, are you sure you're feeling all right?"

Fred gave the photo to Gazoo, who snapped his fingers and made it disappear.

"You're not going to be transported to that Universe ever again," Gazoo promised, "Zootwo informed me of the new rules: trans-universal travel is henceforth to be strictly off-limits to cave-house-dwelling Dum-Dums."

"That suits us just fine, Gazoo," Fred told the little spaceman as he flickered out of view.

Fred gestured to Barney to follow him into the kitchen, where Wilma and Betty were making tea.

"Never mind the tea, gals!" Fred announced, walking over to Wilma and putting his arms around her, "Me and Barney are taking you two out to The Blue Brontosaurus fine dining restaurant. Only the finest for you two queens."

"We are, Fred?" Barney asked, checking his wallet.

"Yeah," Fred replied, "It's on me, Barn. I want to make sure this Universe's two most beautiful girls feel deeply appreciated!"

Fred gave Wilma a kiss, kicking Barney in the direction of Betty as he did so. Barney took the hint and gave Betty a kiss as well.

"Uh...yeah, Betty—you're the Galaxy's Best Gal!" Barney concurred with Fred, "And uh...Wilma's the other Galaxy's Best Gal. Let's blast off to the Blue Brontosaurus!"

"Oh, Fred!" Wilma cried, reaching up to throw her arms around his neck.

"Oh, Barney!" Betty cried likewise, reaching down to throw her arms around Barney's neck.

The two couples left the still-steeping teapot to dash out to the "Flintmobile". Fred leapt behind the wheel with Wilma by his side, while Barney and Betty climbed into the back.

"Guard the house while we're away, Dino and Baby Puss!" Fred called out to the two Flintstone pets.

As they roared away, their pet Dinosaur Dino watched them as he kept guard over the house with the two Sabre-Tooth Tiger-Cats, Baby Puss and Sabrina, on either side of him. Both of them were in excellent health, and purring contentedly.


End file.
